Alien

At my well-seasoned age, I have learned many valuable lessons. I know there is still so much more I could understand. Through this healing journey, I am constantly learning. I am learning who my true friends are, who support me, and who believe in me.

Funny story: I am known not just for being a chef, but also for advocating for mental health. Recently, I walked away from a project after I was told that “a sponsor” didn’t like the raw take I shared on my suicide attempt. It was a video I posted on my own social media, from my heart, as part of my own healing process.

I was shocked that in this day and age, someone would want to censor that. I wanted to know who that sponsor was, so I could ensure I never bought their products. However, whether it was a sponsor or not ultimately didn’t matter. What mattered was this: I knew it was time to move on.

As the movie says, “No one puts Baby in the corner.” And no one is going to censor me. No one.

Having a mental illness does not make you less of a man or less of a human. It is human nature to want to live. If you don’t believe me, put your hand on a hot stove. Do you move it?

I have seen the pain of suicide up close. My ex-father-in-law attempted suicide twice, and the third time, well… I won't go into details, but I know it takes immense strength to make that choice. Thirty-six years ago, I almost had the strength to take my life. And no one will ever silence me from telling that truth.

I know healing is not a straight line. It is a process that takes patience and, above all, understanding and kindness. And that kindness is not for anyone else; it is for yourself. Healing is not about never falling again. It is about how you show up for yourself when you do.

You will have days when it feels like you took two steps forward and one step back. Some days, it will feel like you are ten steps back. I realized something while journaling on one of those days.

When you grow up without affirmation, without hearing “I see you, I am proud of you,” it feels unnatural, even shameful, to celebrate yourself. Read that again.

It’s like this voice inside says, “Who am I to say I’m worth noticing? That’s for others to decide.”

That whisper, for a long time, sounded like my father. But the truth is, it was me. That voice was my own.

That voice is not the truth. That is the echo of someone else’s failure to love me the way I deserved. I learned that silence was safer. That needing affirmation was “too much.” Asking to be seen was selfish, rather than simply human.

This hits hard. And it feels alien to me, this work of learning to love and affirm myself.

I was eight years old when I first heard, “You will grow up to be a no one.”

Now, I am learning the truth.

I am Jeffrey Schlissel.

I am not an alien.

I am here. And I will not be silenced.