What a Year Later Looks Like on a Healing Journey

Healing Isn’t Linear

A year into my healing journey, I’ve learned one truth: healing is not linear. It’s not pretty. It’s roadblocks, two steps forward and seven steps back. It’s questioning every decision you make.

The darkness can consume you, enveloping you like the moon blocking out the sunlight. Along the way, you realize who is truly your support, and who is just there for convenience.

The pain of the past can cripple you to your very soul if you let it. But I’ve learned my past doesn’t shape my future. My past shaped me into who I am. It gave me the courage and strength to discover who I want to become.

Breaking the Cycle

As a child, I was told: “You will be the same way your father is to you, as his father was to him.” I will always hear those words.

One day, in a heated discussion, my daughter told me: “You are just like your father. What he did to you, you are doing to me.”

That hit my soul. I remember looking at her, taking a breath, and saying: “You will never know that pain of what my father did to me.” I walked away, but in my head a voice whispered: “You stopped it. You broke the cycle.”

That moment gave me a power I will never be able to fully put into words.

My Superpower

My father told me often: “You are weak. You wear your emotions on your sleeve. You wear your heart on your shoulders.”

He meant it as an insult, and for a long time, I believed it. I felt weak. Less of a human.

But now I know: it’s my superpower.

Showing emotions is not weakness. Holding them in is.

And for someone who once tried to end their life, I can tell you, it is not weakness. Suicide is not about giving up on life. It’s about life giving up on you. It’s about fighting until you are so exhausted the battle feels over. It’s about being so alone that not a soul seems to care.

The Power of One Hello

Humans need connection. We crave it. It’s what sets us apart from other animals.

When you hear about someone taking their life, maybe you think: “Why would they end it? They seemed so happy, they were always helping others.”

But here’s the truth: the ones always “there” for others often have no one there for them. Read that again.

One story has never left me. A rabbi told of a retired San Francisco detective who retraced the steps of people who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge. One note stuck with him:

“If just ONE person says hello to me, I won’t do it.”

A single word—HELLO—could have saved a life.

Fire and Mindfulness

Food has taught me mindfulness. I used to cook while thinking about fifteen other things. Now, I cook with intention.

Live fire is my teacher. Fire can be deadly. It demands presence. It is primal, unforgiving, and simple. No molecular gastronomy, no tricks, just essence. Fire teaches resilience, patience, and presence.

Through food, I’ve learned to slow down, breathe, and stay in the moment.

Why I Keep Telling My Story

My journey has taught me to keep telling my story. The messages I get,“Thank you, please never stop sharing,” they are my “hello.” They are my reminder of my mission: #justonelife.

One year later, that story, my book Craveable Obsessed: Journals of a Food Addicted Chef, placed 4th in the world at the Gourmand Cookbook Awards.

But here’s the truth, it isn’t my story for me. It’s for you. It’s for anyone who thinks they’re going through this alone.

I know firsthand how dark life can be. I tell my story so you’ll never feel like you’re the only one.

👉 If this resonates, share a hello with someone today. You never know whose life it might save.